And You Thought It Was Safe(?)


Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)

At long last, of the capstone to what I’m sure will soon be marketed to us as “Michael Bay’s Transformer’s Trilogy.” Though one of my esteemed colleagues, the Movie Preview Critic, found a much better way of putting it: “The Transformers movie times three.”

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Jonah Hex (2010)
Nice try.

Eh. B minus for effort.

Want to know how to make a bad movie? Take a character who’s basically every cliche in his genre rolled into one portable unit, plug him into a script picked over by the proverbial thousand monkeys, and give the whole project to a director who’s spent the last ten years slaving away on the Pixar plantation.

Sometimes you can just see the train coming. As if that weren’t enough, the whole package comes to us from one of my ancient enemies: Akiva Goldsman, the man who made a mess called I Am Legend…and even bigger mess called Batman and Robin…and whose production company, Weed Road Pictures, put up the money for this mess. So Jonah Hex has finally limped its way onto video, branded one of the Worst Films of Summer 2010 by the little subconscious voice that makes all my snap judgments. Was it correct? Is this the new Wild Wild West? Continue reading