Filed under: Movies, Reviews | Tags: Alan Tudyk, Ehren Kruger, Frances McDormand, Hugo Weaving, John Malkovich, John Turturro, Josh Duhamel, Ken Jeong, Kevin Dunn, Leonard Nemoy, Michael Bay, Paramount, Patrick Dempsey, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Shia LaBeouf, Transformers, Tyrese Gibson
At long last, of the capstone to what I’m sure will soon be marketed to us as “Michael Bay’s Transformer’s Trilogy.” Though one of my esteemed colleagues, the Movie Preview Critic, found a much better way of putting it: “The Transformers movie times three.”
Filed under: Movies, Reviews, Videos | Tags: Alex Kurtzman, Ehren Kruger, Hugo Weaving, John Turturro, Josh Duhamel, Kevin Dunn, Megan Fox, Michael Bay, Paramount, Peter Cullen, Roberto Orci, Shia LaBeouf, Transformers, Tyrese Gibson
Part One: Less Than Meets the Eye
Part Two: Puny Humans
Part Three: Car Commercials in Disguise
Filed under: Reviews | Tags: Alex Kurtzman, Michael Bay, Roberto Orci, Transformers
As far as I’m concerned, Transformers first aired at 5:30 in the morning on my local Fox affiliate. This was back in the halcyon days when the Fox Network bought syndicated series the way survivalists buy bulk foods, slapping them down anywhere a hole in the programming schedule presented itself. Many a school day began with me dragging myself out of bed, the better to catch the theme song and learn the title of this latest episode in the seemingly-never-ending battle “to destroy the Evil Forces of…the Decepticons.”
For a time, the Transformers headed up what felt like my own Hour of Power, their show followed up by that realest of Real American Heroes, G.I. Joe. I often dreamed of an epic crossover event between my two favorite marketing tie-ins. I imagined Cobra Commander shitting himself in fear at the sight of an Autobot assault force rolling over the horizon. I imagined G.I. Joe’s hanging from every open window and flat surface their new their allies could provide, lasers ineffectually blazing. I imagined the unholy alliance between Serpentor and Megatron…not that Megatron would ever lower himself to an equal partnership with so puny a creature. I imagined the whole thing ending with Optimus Prime shaking Duke’s hand as bald eagles soared through sparkling fields of fire works. At sunset. Ironhide and Sgt. Slaughter could arm wrestling in the background, next to a stand of American flags that waved safely in the breeze, secure for another day from all things Evil and noncommercial. {More}
Filed under: Movies, Reviews | Tags: Alex Kurtzman, Hugo Weaving, John Turturro, Josh Duhamel, Kevin Dunn, Megan Fox, Michael Bay, Paramount, Peter Cullen, Roberto Orci, Shia LaBeouf, Transformers, Tyrese Gibson
As far as I’m concerned, Transformers first aired at 5:30 in the morning on my local Fox affiliate. This was back in the halcyon days when the Fox Network bought syndicated series the way survivalists buy bulk foods, slapping them down anywhere a hole in the programming schedule presented itself. Many a school day began with me dragging myself out of bed, the better to catch the theme song and learn the title of this latest episode in the Autobot’s seemingly-never-ending battle “to destroy the Evil Forces of…the Decepticons.”
For a time, the Transformers headed up what felt like my own Hour of Power, their show followed up by that realest of Real American Heroes, G.I. Joe. I often dreamed of an epic crossover event between my two favorite marketing tie-ins. I imagined Cobra Commander shitting himself in fear at the sight of an Autobot assault force rolling over the horizon. I imagined G.I. Joe’s hanging from every open window and flat surface their new their allies could provide, lasers ineffectually blazing. I imagined the unholy alliance between Serpentor and Megatron…not that Megatron would ever lower himself to an equal partnership with so puny a creature. I imagined the whole thing ending with Optimus Prime shaking Duke’s hand as bald eagles soared through sparkling fields of fire works. At sunset. Ironhide and Sgt. Slaughter could arm wrestling in the background, next to a stand of American flags that waved safely in the breeze, secure for another day from all things Evil and noncommercial.
I didn’t know at the time, though obviously I realize that now, that I was fervently hoping for the prototypical Michael Bay film. So, in an abstract, magical-thinking sorta way, this is really all my fault. For that, guys, I really am sorry. {More}
Filed under: Movies, Reviews | Tags: Casey Kasem, Corey Burton, Eric Idle, Frank Welker, John Moschitta Jr., Leonard Nimoy, Nelson Shin, Orson Welles, Peter Cullen, Robert Stack, Ron Friedman, Scatman Crothers, Susan Blu, Transformers
The Transformers: The Movie is no place to begin your journey through the myriad maze of the Cybertronian Wars. A link between the second and third seasons of its eponymous TV show, The Movie will leave uninitiated peoples confused, annoyed, and potentially hostile to a set of stories that continue to fascinate hardcore fans of this stupid little cartoon. The trauma it caused us and its shinning, brilliant disdain for outsiders makes this the high water mark of 1980s toy commercial animation. Screw you, the film says. This is for the fans. And if you don’t like it, just wait ’til will kill off all the main characters.
The excellent (if muddled) Transformers FAQ provides a good enough primer (pun most certainly intended) for our purposes. For those too lazy to scroll down to the appropriate section of text, we present this origin story: {More}